Change

 

We always hear "change is good."

Without a doubt, change can definitely be a good thing.  It is something that we strive for during our life, whether it is something small or, pardon my pun, life changing.

However, there is always a flip side to whatever coin you are looking at.  You have those that change, but not necessarily the best.  Or you have the regular, "they won't change because they are stuck in their ways." 

Change is something that we should strive for, to become better, but we shouldn't be surprised if we find ourselves flat on our face or that this change wasn't good at all.  Sometimes that is okay.  You learn from those failed changes in order to make a better change later.  Here are a couple of thoughts.

Change is good:
This is something that is always said, and although repetitive, it is something that you should drill into your mind.  If you are hungry to want to succeed, you can't settle.  You have to fight for what you want and how you are going to get there.  If you want to grow, you go out and do something that will help you grow, not sit around and be complacent.  Life is all about finding your purpose; your strength.  Your life is a long book with many chapters that have already been written, yet, there are still blank pages ahead for you to discover.  For you to determine what goes on those pages.  Some people may have everything written out for those future pages, but what's the fun in that?  That's saying that you are complacent with where you're at.  Look at those previous chapters and build something NEW.  Whether it be on your own or you seek help from family, mentors, religion, whatever it may be, let it guide you to pursue what you truly want.  Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with having a dream be written down 50, 100, 200 pages ahead in your story.  That's something that could change, but if you truly care about that goal, put it there and leave it there.  Make the changes that are necessary to get you to that point.  You may not have the strength to go out and get it at first, but that's half the battle.  It's not going to be a perfect road getting there and that's what most people are worried about; failing.  You have to learn to fail through change and use that knowledge.  Be persistent.  It may not be perfect how you look at it now, but when you go back and read that story, you'll see just how perfect it was.  I'll leave this with, "The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new." ~Socrates

Sticking to your guns:
This one is a little more challenging for everyone that deals with it.  Believe it or not, it happens all the time.  Whether it is you personally or someone that you know, maybe even someone you care about.  Change is hard.  Yes, yes it is.  Like I mentioned earlier, change isn't easy, and it is not meant to be.  If it were that easy, everyone would be doing what they want and everyone would be happy.  Unfortunately, that's not the case.  Change is meant to be hard.  It's meant to keep you pushing forward towards something you want.  However, there are times that no matter what you do, there is just no change.  This can be you trying to do something, but eventually slipping back into whatever it was you were doing before.  It is seeing loved ones making changes for you, but eventually falling back into something that isn't well received.  It's hard making changes for yourself, but even harder for someone else.  There comes a point that yes, they would like to change, or you want someone to change, but it is just not going to happen.  No matter what you say, what you do, whatever it is.  And the hardest part of that?  Learning to let it happen.  You can try and keep trying, but to no avail.  At what point do you just give up?  Do you stop "caring?"  Don't get me wrong, if it is someone that you truly care about, you still care about them.  It's just asking, do you stop caring on trying to change them.  Let us take a step back and consider this.  Think about how hard it is to change yourself.  Got that?  Now you understand what little change you have in trying to change someone else.  Harsh, huh?  Yes, it is, but at the same time, it is brutally honest.  It's one of the hardest things to do.

I take this one to heart because my grandpa is this way.  He is one of the most, if not the most, stubborn people I know.  It is one of those things that no matter what I do to help, he's going to go do it anyways.  Why?  Because he's been doing it all his life.  Sticking with his guns.  It's unfortunate, but it gets to a point where I stopped trying to fix the problem.  In the end I was just causing problems for myself.  Sure he cares about me, but he's not going to change on a whim.  It has to be because he wants to.  And that's where it gets hard.  You want to see them change, but the longer it goes on, you just accept it and hope that someday they change.  It's gut wrenching.  It feels like a defeat and you second guess yourself, but sometimes it's better to just accept that fact.  Yes, it will kill you inside that someone you love is throwing their life away or doing something stupid, but you've done so much to no avail.  It's almost like you have to take the grain of salt.  It may be a 10lb bag of salt, but hey, it's a start.  You don't stop caring, you just realize that you need to focus on YOU.  They may be a loved one and you care, but ultimately, this is your life and your story.  If they want to be a part of it, they can be.  It's just up to them how they want to be in your story.
I'll leave this subject with this.  "When people are ready to, they change. They never do it before then, and sometimes they die before they get around to it. You can't make them change if they don't want to, just like when they do want to, you can't stop them." ~ Andy Warhol

All in all, the point here is don't be afraid of change.  Whether it is good or bad.  Accept it and move on.  That's really the only way to move on.  Accepting the good and bad in each situation will make you a stronger person.  And hey, that's we all strive to be; stronger.

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