Street Lights

Passing the street lights
Along the never ending road,
Each bulb begins to blur
With streams like milk that soils the window.
The bass picks and bellows
At the strings in my chest,
It bumps and it swoons
The thumping keeps me awake
While in the same state
I find myself dreaming at night.
Whether this drive is moving me
In the right direction
Or it is showing me the doors
That I pass on by,
I let it coast
And hope the cruise
Find me ashore,
With my hands pale and numb
From gripping the life jacket
And being too stingy to use it
Because I fear now
May not ever be the time, if at all.
With the safety net in my grasp,
I back pack it away in my tool kit
Maybe as an emergency,
But mostly as a trophy,
I find that if I drown,
Then I drink, until I can’t drink
Anymore.
However I find my engines revving
And find my chest afloat
Over the lake that I drove over
I will calm the waves
And sit myself forward
For death is inevitable
Until death is imminent,
And until then,
I’ll find myself wading through.
For as long as I can control
My intake,
I will inhale only what fuels,
And exhale out
Only what can illuminate
Like street lights do,
When we look for rain.