I’m sure that we’ve all heard this one before; having a broken heart. Whether you are dealing with a relationship ending or mourning the loss of a loved one, you are in a good amount of emotional agony. There’s a ton of strain on your heart. If you’ve experienced it, you know that it can feel like a physical pain in your chest for a few days, a week, or even months. It affects the way you live. We detach ourselves from the world we thought we knew and find ourselves in an alternate reality. Your normal daily routine is much harder. Think about it, you’re driving to work and a sad song or a love song comes on the radio. Have you ever just, teared up? It’s a common thing. But it makes you wonder, why is it so hard to just… “get over it?”
It comes down to the attachment to whatever it is that you lost; an emotional attachment. Being emotionally attached takes things to a whole other level of difficult when something happens. Let’s look at a relationship for instance. When everything is going fine and dandy, that attachment makes you feel like you are on top of the world. Nothing can go wrong. Now, let’s look at it from the other side. When things aren’t going well, you are almost paralyzed with the pain that comes with it. Or it brings out the other emotions. Jealousy. Anger. Hate. Those are just a few things that come with it. The main question here is, how do I get over it?
There is no right way to “get over it.” Everyone has their own way of getting over it. For some it may take a few days, while others, a few months. Hell, some people may never get over it. The best you can do is work on yourself. Now, I’m not saying that this is easy, by any means. The natural coping mechanism will usually take you down the road of despair and lead you to a fork; revenge or get them back. This puts you in a negative place. There’s no need to do that. Remember, the focus is on you. You may think you just want that person back, because you remember what used to be. Be honest with yourself. That may not be the best road to go down.
Instead, refocus your vision to your own life when you're surrounded with thoughts of your former partners. This is where the healing begins. As you go through the grieving that is natural upon ending a relationship, begin to open to a vision of your life as YOU want it. Not how you THINK you want it. Look bigger picture and imagine not only the perfect relationship, but also your life's mission. What’s more important, think of an image of you at your best. How successful you are; flourishing, living your life to the fullest. Each time you starting falling back and having thoughts of your former partner, take a second and re-evaluate. Take these thoughts aside and instead contemplate the vision you've begun to create of yourself. Rather than falling into despair or plotting how to get them back, do something to start making this newfound vision a reality. You are better spending your time and effort, which puts you back into honoring your highest self.
Again, I’m no expert on this and this won’t always work for everyone, but it’s definitely worth a shot. I know that I have gone through some dark times (one of them being as I write this), but this is something that has always helped me. Just remember, the best investment you can ever make, is spending time taking care of yourself.